Do you need a jam jar?

Have you ever felt like you are at your limit and just the smallest thing more will tip you over the edge? Or perhaps an incident that would not normally rattle you has created a storm? Maybe your jam jar is getting full.

Jam Jar?

One way of thinking about our resilience to the stress of life events is that we have an inner jam jar that fills up and empties as required. This works well until the jam jar becomes too full. Then there isn’t much scope to absorb another incident and the jam jar overflows. When our jam jar overflows the stress can overwhelm us and we might ‘blow a fuse’.

So what can we do about it?

It’s worth doing an audit of our jam jar. There may be stuff in there that has sat for ages and is using up valuable space. Often this will be unresolved issues from our past, relationship problems, old habits well past their sell by date and other issues that we might be able to resolve in therapy.

Can therapy deal with eveything in my jam jar?

Probably not. Life can throw up things we have little control over. For example; health, money, other people’s behaviour, and the weather. Therapy can be helpful in working on our responses to these things but it’s really handy to have a jam jar! A way to take life in our stride and cope with occasional stress.

So I just have to keep my jam jar as empty as possible?

Yes. Therapy can be a great way to examine your jam jar and see what no longer needs to be in there.

Is there another way?

Sure. Get a bigger jam jar! But before you ask, I have no idea how to make a bigger jam jar. However, it’s a perfectly reasonable question to ask how you chose the size of your current jam jar.

Watch the two minute explainer below.